Ellis Weiner

Santa Lives!: Five Conclusive Arguments for the Existence of Santa Claus

by Ellis Weiner

Is Santa Claus real?

The range of opinion regarding Clausite existence spans the complete gamut, from outright denial ("There's no such thing as Santa Claus") to fervent affirmation ("Yes there is and shut up")....

Cat-echisms

by Ellis Weiner, Barbara Davilman & Susan Burnstine

Everyone knows cats think they’re so special.

But how can they explain why to mere humans?

Where do cats get their sense of superiority?  How do they manipulate us so easily? Cat-echisms answers these eternal...

Yiddish with Dick and Jane

by Ellis Weiner & Barbara Davilman

Jane is in real estate.

Today is Saturday.

Jane has an open house.

She must schlep the Open House signs to the car.

See Jane schlep.

Schlep, Jane. Schlep.

Schlep, schlep, schlep.

In text that captures the unque rhythms...

Yiddish with George and Laura

by Ellis Weiner

What do George and Laura Bush have in common with Dick and Jane? Well, both hail from prototypical WASP families. And, perhaps more to the point, both exhibit a natural resistance to moral complexity (i.e.,...

How to Profit From the Coming Rapture: Getting Ahead When You're Left Behind

by Ellis Weiner, Barbara Davilman & Steve and Evie Levy

Are the end times near? Is the Rapture really just around the corner? Could Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson possibly be right? About 1 billion people among us believe, yes, absolutely.

And that means one thing:...