Ross Petras

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Bad Girls Go Everywhere: Wisdom, Humor, and Inspiration from Women with Attitude

by Kathryn Petras & Ross Petras

300 kick-ass quotes with equal parts wisdom and sass from past and present-day "bad" girls.


776 Stupidest Things Ever Said

by Ross Petras

A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips,  spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous  and infamous figures past and present -- a  complete course in anti-eloquence by the foot-in-mouth  champions...


"It Always Seems Impossible Until It's Done.": Motivation for Dreamers & Doers

by Kathryn Petras & Ross Petras

Pursuing a dream is hard work, but the right words delivered at the right time-by people who've been there and done that-can give us just the motivation we need. The right words can rekindle our enthusiasm,...


"Don't Forget to Sing in the Lifeboats": Uncommon Wisdom for Uncommon Times

by Kathryn Petras & Ross Petras

Uncommon times call for uncommon wisdom. It's inspiring to hear from people who've graduated from the school of hard knocks, yet kept a sense of humor. People like Twain, Voltaire, Oscar Wilde. People who've...


Wretched Writing: A Compendium of Crimes Against the English Language

by Kathryn Petras & Ross Petras

Wretched writing is the lowest of the low; it is a felonious assault on the English language. Exuberantly excessive, it is a sin committed often by amateurs and all-too-frequently by gifted writers having an...


B Is for Botox: An Alphabet Book for the Middle-Aged

by Kathryn Petras & Ross Petras

Remember when A was for apple? Well, now (sigh) A is for aging.

The A, B, Cs of adulthood differ ever so slightly from the popular grade school primers of the past inside Ross and Kathryn Petras's B Is for Botox:...


Unusually Stupid Americans: A Compendium of All-American Stupidity

by Kathryn Petras & Ross Petras

A hilarious collection of lists, statistics, news items, quotations, and facts detailing stupid acts of Americans from all walks of life—by the authors of the bestselling The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said...


Very Bad Poetry

by Kathryn Petras & Ross Petras

Writing very bad poetry requires talent.  It helps to have a wooden ear for words, a penchant for sinking into a mire of sentimentality, and an enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely...


Here Speeching American: A Very Strange Guide to English as It Is Garbled Around the World

by Ross Petras & Kathryn Petras

THE STRANGEST (AND FUNNIEST) TRAVEL GUIDE YOU’LL EVER READ

The celebrated authors of the perennial bestseller The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said set the typical travel guide squarely on its head–taking you...


The Anthology of Really Important Modern Poetry: Timeless Poems by Snooki, John Boehner, Kanye West, and Other Well-Versed Celebrities

by Kathryn Petras & Ross Petras

Required reading from great poets of our time. Drew Barrymore: “Upon Pondering Breasts.” Tom Cruise: “An Exegesis on Psychiatry.” Ann Coulter: “My Kind of Fun.” And Trump and Sheen and Snooki, John...


Unusually Stupid Politicians: Washington's Weak in Review

by Kathryn Petras & Ross Petras

Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, bestselling authors of the scathingly funny Unusually Stupid Americans and Unusually Stupid Celebrities, now set their bipartisan sights on the hallowed halls of the United States...


Unusually Stupid Celebrities: A Compendium of All-Star Stupidity

by Kathryn Petras & Ross Petras

The Greeks honored Zeus, the Romans revered Juno, but modern civilization worships a different sort of god: Celebrity. Face it, we follow the stars’ every move, fashion choice, and deliciously dishy affairs....


Stupid Sex

by Ross Petras & Kathryn Petras

A mother, answering her phone, hears her daughter shrieking and screaming. Terrified, she calls the police who arrive at the daughter's house, batter down the door--and find the daughter, nude, in her bedroom...


Stupidest Things Ever Said: Book of All-Time Stupidest Top 10 Lists

by Kathryn Petras & Ross Petras

Not just stupidity, but obsessive stupidity! Not just random stupidity, but organized stupidity! Here, from the celebrated collectors of the stupidest things ever said, it’s the cre`me de la cre`me of stupidities,...


The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done

by Ross Petras & Kathryn Petras

*Too lazy to drive to his girlfriend's house, a man ties helium balloons to a lawn chair--and ends up at 15,000 feet, closing the L. A. airport.

*A Chinese contraception program causes the birth rate to rise...


Stupid Movie Lines: The 776 Dumbest Things Ever Uttered on the Silver Screen

by Kathryn Petras & Ross Petras

The creme de la crud of screen history

"War! War! That's all you think of, Dick Plantagenet! You burner! You pillager!"

--Virginia Mayo as Lady Edith to George Sanders in King Richard and the Crusaders (1954)

"Visits?...