9,263 words (≈ 37 minutes)
Initiation is the first of the The Favour Men Shorts; a series of short stories dedicated to telling the story of Charlie, Jake and Harry, who they are, why they do what they do and where they're going. Initiation depicts the struggles of Jake Winters, the youngest of the trio, as he tries to earn his place among his brother and their best friend as one of The Favour Men.
Language: English
Written in: 2011
Published: 2011-12-26
Word count: 9,263 words (≈ 37 minutes)
Tags: mafia, hate, love, Brotherhood, favor men
Sat, 03 Mar 2012 15:14:56 +0100
So close, and yet.... This story is so polluted with all manner of errors it makes the Hudson look like a clear mountain stream. It makes me want to grab the author by the collar and ask him, "What are you thinking? Just because your book is free you don't have to proofread it? Who do you think you are? Mozart?" Simply put, this story isn't ready for publication yet. It needs at least two revisions and several proofreads, then it'll be ready. (Special attention should be paid to the characters'… (more)
So close, and yet.... This story is so polluted with all manner of errors it makes the Hudson look like a clear mountain stream. It makes me want to grab the author by the collar and ask him, "What are you thinking? Just because your book is free you don't have to proofread it? Who do you think you are? Mozart?" Simply put, this story isn't ready for publication yet. It needs at least two revisions and several proofreads, then it'll be ready. (Special attention should be paid to the characters' love of cliche. Hilight every single cliche, then replace it with something fresh and new, please.) The sad thing about this book is that it really is an interesting story. I read it all the way to the end and enjoyed it more for what it obviously could be than for what it is. Thanks!
(less)