Needs a lot of work, to many adjectives, Needs editing. The story/plot isn't too bad, but it reads like there is more than one narrator, finishing each others sentences. Most scenes have too many words, and descriptions go on far too long. Action scenes are broken up with too much interior dialogue.
About Feedbooks
Feedbooks is an ebook retailer, designed with mobile reading in mind.
Mon, 25 Feb 2013 20:55:31 +0100
Needs a lot of work, to many adjectives, Needs editing. The story/plot isn't too bad, but it reads like there is more than one narrator, finishing each others sentences. Most scenes have too many words, and descriptions go on far too long. Action scenes are broken up with too much interior dialogue.