Iron Legacy: Legend of the Alchemists

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lylekelley3
lylekelley3
Mon, 25 Feb 2013 20:55:31 +0100

Needs a lot of work, to many adjectives, Needs editing. The story/plot isn't too bad, but it reads like there is more than one narrator, finishing each others sentences. Most scenes have too many words, and descriptions go on far too long. Action scenes are broken up with too much interior dialogue.