This was a great story. It could have benefited from a good proof reader but the story crafting itself was excellent. Completely believable characters who helped make the situation believable. Great job.
I really enjoyed this story and it was a great, fast read (on my Stanza app on the iPod touch). With such a buildup and captivating storyline, I was a little worried about the ending, that it might not be able to close the story line well enough. However, I thought the ending was perfect and would love to see it if it ever became a film.
The only criticism on it is there are many, many typos. Not misspellings, just not the word that was intended to be used. While it was distracting, the story… (more)
I really enjoyed this story and it was a great, fast read (on my Stanza app on the iPod touch). With such a buildup and captivating storyline, I was a little worried about the ending, that it might not be able to close the story line well enough. However, I thought the ending was perfect and would love to see it if it ever became a film.
The only criticism on it is there are many, many typos. Not misspellings, just not the word that was intended to be used. While it was distracting, the story was so excellent it made me look past it. I was sucked in and read it all the way through. :)
It's not a stylistic difference but a semantic one: the text is formatted using br instead of p. This means that on a reading system where the user can select things such as indentation for the paragraphs or paragraph spacing, these settings won't work.
A 127-pages long text flow can also be problematic for devices with limited memory such as the Sony Reader. If a text flow is longer than 300k it won't be able to open the file: that's why I asked if the text could use page breaks.
It's not a stylistic difference but a semantic one: the text is formatted using br instead of p. This means that on a reading system where the user can select things such as indentation for the paragraphs or paragraph spacing, these settings won't work.
A 127-pages long text flow can also be problematic for devices with limited memory such as the Sony Reader. If a text flow is longer than 300k it won't be able to open the file: that's why I asked if the text could use page breaks.
Finally, there's no need to point out to a specific format: they're all affected by the problem with paragraphs.
After downloading I took an immediate look to see what I thought about the style, in response to Hadrien's comment. It's 127 pages, and it's nicely formatted into paragraphs. There may not be separate chapters; I didn't spot any, but I didn't want to look too closely because I actually plan to READ the book. The paragraphs don't use first line indentation. That's a stylistic decision and if you don't agree you don't need to be insulting about it.
I downloaded the PDF version; perhaps Hadrien's… (more)
After downloading I took an immediate look to see what I thought about the style, in response to Hadrien's comment. It's 127 pages, and it's nicely formatted into paragraphs. There may not be separate chapters; I didn't spot any, but I didn't want to look too closely because I actually plan to READ the book. The paragraphs don't use first line indentation. That's a stylistic decision and if you don't agree you don't need to be insulting about it.
I downloaded the PDF version; perhaps Hadrien's criticism was of a different version. Of course intelligent criticism of stylistic issues would include definition of the version being criticized, wouldn't it?
Real paragraphs instead of line breaks would look A LOT better (indented first lines).
No division at all for the book ? Is it really a single text flow without page breaks ?
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Tue, 03 May 2011 20:39:48 +0200
This was a great story. It could have benefited from a good proof reader but the story crafting itself was excellent. Completely believable characters who helped make the situation believable. Great job.
Sun, 05 Dec 2010 16:50:41 +0100
I really enjoyed this story and it was a great, fast read (on my Stanza app on the iPod touch). With such a buildup and captivating storyline, I was a little worried about the ending, that it might not be able to close the story line well enough. However, I thought the ending was perfect and would love to see it if it ever became a film.
The only criticism on it is there are many, many typos. Not misspellings, just not the word that was intended to be used. While it was distracting, the story… (more)
I really enjoyed this story and it was a great, fast read (on my Stanza app on the iPod touch). With such a buildup and captivating storyline, I was a little worried about the ending, that it might not be able to close the story line well enough. However, I thought the ending was perfect and would love to see it if it ever became a film.
The only criticism on it is there are many, many typos. Not misspellings, just not the word that was intended to be used. While it was distracting, the story was so excellent it made me look past it. I was sucked in and read it all the way through. :)
Truly a great story, thank you for sharing!
(less)Mon, 06 Jul 2009 12:44:27 +0200
It's not a stylistic difference but a semantic one: the text is formatted using br instead of p. This means that on a reading system where the user can select things such as indentation for the paragraphs or paragraph spacing, these settings won't work.
A 127-pages long text flow can also be problematic for devices with limited memory such as the Sony Reader. If a text flow is longer than 300k it won't be able to open the file: that's why I asked if the text could use page breaks.
Finally, there's… (more)
It's not a stylistic difference but a semantic one: the text is formatted using br instead of p. This means that on a reading system where the user can select things such as indentation for the paragraphs or paragraph spacing, these settings won't work.
A 127-pages long text flow can also be problematic for devices with limited memory such as the Sony Reader. If a text flow is longer than 300k it won't be able to open the file: that's why I asked if the text could use page breaks.
Finally, there's no need to point out to a specific format: they're all affected by the problem with paragraphs.
(less)Sat, 04 Jul 2009 05:14:14 +0200
After downloading I took an immediate look to see what I thought about the style, in response to Hadrien's comment. It's 127 pages, and it's nicely formatted into paragraphs. There may not be separate chapters; I didn't spot any, but I didn't want to look too closely because I actually plan to READ the book. The paragraphs don't use first line indentation. That's a stylistic decision and if you don't agree you don't need to be insulting about it.
I downloaded the PDF version; perhaps Hadrien's… (more)
After downloading I took an immediate look to see what I thought about the style, in response to Hadrien's comment. It's 127 pages, and it's nicely formatted into paragraphs. There may not be separate chapters; I didn't spot any, but I didn't want to look too closely because I actually plan to READ the book. The paragraphs don't use first line indentation. That's a stylistic decision and if you don't agree you don't need to be insulting about it.
I downloaded the PDF version; perhaps Hadrien's criticism was of a different version. Of course intelligent criticism of stylistic issues would include definition of the version being criticized, wouldn't it?
(less)Tue, 30 Jun 2009 10:48:55 +0200
Real paragraphs instead of line breaks would look A LOT better (indented first lines).
No division at all for the book ? Is it really a single text flow without page breaks ?